My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Randomize
