I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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