I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
