Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
