walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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