I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
