can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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