Barsexuality is the new black.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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