so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
