YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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