4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Non-Jews are for practice
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
