i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i would punch a child for taco bell
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
