I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
