I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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