He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
