I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
