the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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