Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize