it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
