Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize