if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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