What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
