Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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