roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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