dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
