he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just want nice things and good sex
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
