I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I need water and some morals
Randomize