I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So vagazzling was a success
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
