We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize