last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
