your thong is hanging out like whoa
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
