If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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