i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have surprise drugs for everyone
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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