the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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