Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
