And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You may now shotgun with the bride
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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