They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
