I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
