so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
