she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
