Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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