I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
