quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
do herpes really smell.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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