Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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