I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
