Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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