I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize