You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
