butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
