He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
