birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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