don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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