Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
