You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
