All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
