If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
