Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize