I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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