she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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