That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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