Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
