Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
